Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Don't behave like......

A few days back HC of Karnataka instructed Army not to behave like a Khap panchayat. Of course Army should behave like Army, but if Army is behaving like anything, wont that makes it Army behaviour. How can army behave like Khap Panchayat? What is army like behaviour and which army is the reference here? But then, when I was told not to behave like a donkey during my school days, didn’t the same problem poured a gallon of confusion over my otherwise happy brain? I didn’t know how a donkey behaves at the first point, and I could never be sure if all the donkeys behave in a choreographed donkey-like behaviour. Which donkey was I behaving like! Had my teacher seen a donkey really behaving that way, or it was more of a second handed knowledge on behavioural patterns of ancient donkey herds?

I never had a privilege to face a don’t-be-an-ass like sentiment. I am still not very sure if this statement reflects to ass-the limb or ass-the animal, unless it’s a “mint with a hole” situation, but at times when I suspected it was regarding animal, it appeared worse than donkey itself. It was like a donkey behaving like an ass.
However when HC suggested Army not to behave like a Khap panchayat, The Honorable HC misused its position in making artistically chosen but baffling and confusing remark. How, in strict legal term, will Army understand the behaviour pattern forbidden henceforth?
It is how ever the Khap Panchayats who are in a paralegal treat here. Believe it or not, well before HC noticed a similarity in army functioning and Panchayat’s pursuit of happiness; Khap panchayats were thinking just the opposite. They thought they were the army, or behaving like army, protecting the rituals and marking the borders. Almost everyone was marked with a radar on his head, and the villages, those were coming in the detection range, were the villages where “all Indians are my brother and sister” rule applied at its best. But now High court has cleared some air. It’s not the Panchayat that behaves like army, It’s the army that behaves like Panchayats; and it’s not I, who write like a donkey, It’s donkey who will write like me should he ever try to.
Meanwhile, I am feeling little less border marked. Come on people we are not yet properly divided. Let’s mark more boundaries. Right now, we are only like those square print maths notebooks. Let’s draw more lines. We should look like a freaking graph paper. In the mean time, I am trying to simplify a formula using all the cultural and regional variables to find out a perfect match. May be, in India we really have a hardcore concept of The One.


Your laffaazzi!!!